St Neots making the headlines: part 2

On Saturday, Sarah Burge made history by becoming the most famous person to come out of St Neots after appearing in a double page spread in the Guardian entitled: ‘Does cosmetic surgery help or damage people?’

This follows Sarah’s recent front page story in the Metro entitled: ‘A breast op for my 7th birthday? Thanks, mum, it’s a dream come true’

This time, there is no mention of my hometown – St Neots you clearly need a better PR person.

But I recognised Sarah immediately. She's a face you don't forget. And before I make too many snide comments, she actually came across quite well as she pitted her wits against a Psychotherapist, arguing that cosmetic surgery was good for people with low self-esteem about their body.

"You say people are profiting from it, but you're profiting from it as well. People who are unhappy with themselves, you're sitting here counselling these people and saying, "Look, you don't want to go and have plastic surgery, it's not the right route, it's this that and the other, you've got other issues going on inside there, we're going to try and treat that together." So you've got them coming backwards and forwards, loading up your bank account, so you're quite happy with that as well."

Just, goes to show, that you should never judge a book by its cover, even if it is a rather superficial, Barbie doll looking cover.

Eynesbury Rovers see success again

But this isn’t the only national news coming from St Neots this week. This morning I got an email from my Dad saying:

“Breaking News: Eynesbury Rovers under 11s football team won their first tournament for 11 years - source Chris Evans show, BBC Radio 2.”

I played for Eynesbury Rovers, what must be about 11 years ago. I like to think of myself as a Beckhamesque right winger. What's more, I’m pretty sure we clinched the league in a well fought play-off (I was sub that day, but added my contribution by shouting encouragement from the sideline). Well done to the Rovers.

What a week for St Neots. And they say local news is dead.

Top 10 from the Isle of Wight festival

I went to the Isle of Wight festival at the weekend. But I did it a little differently to yesteryear. Gone were the tents, the band obsession and the craving for alcohol.

Instead this was a mild affair, going home in the evenings, seeing bands I know little about and reading the newspaper during the day. Oh, and the rain. I've never experienced rain quite like it.

So not to forget, I've captured ten top moments, similar to the Metro

1) Kings of Leon: Brilliant band who got the festival off to a great start on the first night. They started with some older heavier stuff too - Four Kicks et al - which was much appreciated.



2) Reading the newspaper: Didn't see much on Saturday, so had a relaxing day lying on the grass reading the newspaper at the Garden Stage. Very nice it was too.



3) Seasick Steve's quirky set and telling his backstory - "Let me tell ya, I'm getting some spare change now." Also Dave Grohl dedicating 'best of you' to Steve after saying he had found out earlier that he had queued up to see his first Nirvana gig in a small bar in Washington state.



4) Who ate all the pies? Check out this queue for pieminster.



5) The £5 footlong hotdog: The best value food on sale. Look at how happy it made me.



6) Jarvis Cocker, his lewd dancing and witty banter: I had decided Pulp were going to be the best of the rest before I went. And they were.



7) Two acoustic sets by Britpop legends Iain Broudie (Lightning Seeds) and Tim Burgess (Charlatans) made all the more beautiful by the torrential rain they performed under.






8) Liam Gallagher's swagger



9)The rain: I have never been to such a wet day at a festival. It was as much about survival as enjoyment.



10) Kasabian: They completely saved a washout Sunday with the best set of the weekend. The perfect festival band - great front man, a funky beat and many a singalong anthem.

Liam Gallagher - still doing it

After seeing this, I questioned whether Liam Gallagher was beginning to sell out. Promoting speakers certainly doesn't fall into the 'cigarettes and alcohol' category.

Kissing his son and wife whilst being shown on the big screen at the Isle of Wight festival, he certainly seemed like the model family man.

But Liam was on fine form yesterday as he marched on to the stage in a union jack coat and belted out the latest Beady Eye tracks in his typical Mancunian snarl. And there was certainly no pandering to Sky Arts HD or similar corporate sensitivities, when he squared up to the crowd and said: "This is being filmed in 3D yeah? I wonder what these bambinos look like in 3D?" before rising two v-signs high into the air....



The most enertaining moment of the festival. Juvenile I know, but 10 years ago I would've said it was very Rock n Roll.

More classic Liam Gallagher moments can be found here on NME.com - 'Liam Gallagher's 60 funniest quotes'

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St Neots: making the headlines

It's not everyday that someone's home town is plastered across the front page of a national newspaper, so it's something to be savoured when it does happen.

I picked up the Metro on the way to work yesterday and started to read the front page splash about a girl being bought a boob job for her 7th birthday. You can imagine my surprise when I read:

"Her mother from St Neots, Cambridgeshire, has spent more than £500,000 on her own surgery so she looks like Barbie"

..."Poppy isn't interested in bouncy castles or pass the parcel, so I splashed out on something more grown up," said her mother, who hosts swinging parties and writes erotic novels.

Well I didn't know St Neots had it in it.



This isn't the first story Metro has run on my hometown this year. I'm sure no one can forget the "Mothers kicked out of council-run playgroup for being British" story. Emma Knightley and Kimberley Wildman were ordered out of Making Links playgroup at St Neots Priory Centre after being told the group was for non-Britons only.

"Roger Owen, administrator for Making Links, claimed the group was not a ‘typical’ playgroup and was funded entirely for women from other nationalities."

The most surprising thing about this to me, was to learn that there were people of other nationalities in St Neots. I don't remember it like that. The closest we had was my mate Paul, whose parents were from Liverpool.

It's said that a home town says a lot about someone. I hope not. I love it all the same though.

London

Quiet, striking and beautiful is how I would describe the scene coming out of the gym next to the office today. It's easy to take for granted the things you see everyday...



ADDITION: I've put it sideways as form of artistic expression.

Letter of complaint to Mr Capello

Dear Mr Capello,

I feel that I have suffered at England's hands for long enough and I now need to voice my concerns.

I understand that you are a distinguished football manager with numerous accolades. I also read that you paid a handsome salary the by FA - one that even eclipses mine. However as a dedicated fan who has followed England through the occasional good times and often bad, I feel you could benefit from some of my advice.

You see, supporting England has become a bit like an unhappy marriage for me. And I am thinking of divorce. The England team have become my disgruntled wife - there are brief flashes of what I once loved (Euro 96), but on the whole I feel bored, frustrated and questioning: "Is this really for me?" What I want from England, Mr Capello, is a mistress. A filthy mistress that sets the pulse racing, that takes risks and isn't afraid to chase a game.



My advice for the pursuit of this mistressesque football comes in the form of common Sunday League cliches:

Be direct - the most frustrating thing about England is the discipline with which we keep the ball. This may sound strange. But the ball just seems to go from side of the pitch to the other, and very rarely near the opposition goal.

That has its place, no doubt. But what I want is for my team to roar out of the blocks and start a game with the intention of scoring three goals in the first ten minutes rather than being careful not to concede one. Please keep the words, "let's keep it tight for the first 20 minutes" out of your team talk, no matter who the opposition. I want the intensity of a mistress not the lethargy of a wife!

Put a foot in - partly to get the ball back, but partly to get the crowd behind you. I don't want anyone getting hurt in football, but I am glad that Paul Scholes never learnt to tackle, I loved watching Paul Ince hit an Italian with the force of rocket and rejoiced over Tony Adams' life saving tackles. If Scott Parker crunches someone in a fair tackle within the first few minutes, 80,000 people at Wembley will cheer. An acceptable bit of filth is often the signal of the exciting things to come.

Play on the break - I'm talking Peter Schmeichal to Ryan Giggs style. Even in the 85th minute yesterday, Joe Hart would take the ball from a corner and then hold on to it whilst everyone got back in position. Theo Walcott and Ashley Young are faster than some of the UK's best Olympians. Launch it to them Joe, and watch them run at their backtracking defenders with the velocity of a speeding bullet. Forget the foreplay, let's get down to business!

A bit of Blackpool - They went down trying to play like Barcelona and their fans went down proud. We've got the two best centre backs in the world, let's trust them and take some risks going forward. Sometimes, we might get caught with our pants down, but at least we'll be having fun in doing so.

I can (dis)honestly say that if England had left the field yesterday, 3-2 losers but had hit the bar seven times in a game that they dominated in a fast and dynamic style, I would feel more satisfied. Settling for draws at Wembley is unacceptable. I was embarrassed when I saw the Swiss fans on the tube coming away from the stadium. Please don't put me in that position again Mr Capello.

One final request, and I think this could be the turning point; please can you pick Michael Owen again? I know he's a bit of a wild card these days, but if there was ever a man who performed for England it was him. Let's give him another chance. He would've finished Bent's chance yesterday in a heart beat.

Please take this as constructive criticism Mr Capello. I genuinely want England to succeed and make the country proud. If you want me to come down and do some work with the lads, then I would certainly consider it for a small fee.

Kind regards,

Andrew Benjamin Webster

Legend would be no overstatement

It's a sad, but celebratory week for football. Sad, because possibly the greatest English player of the last two decades has retired. But celebratory in that we've been been graced with Paul Scholes' consistent brilliance for the best part of twenty years.
As a football crazy kid, I remember when I first came across Paul Scholes. His picture was in a Manchester United magazine with the caption: "Nicky Butt, Youth Team."

Before long he was impossible to confuse. He was in the first team and couldn't stop scoring. Soon after he was being picked for England and unlike many great English players, fulfilled his potential on the international stage for the time he decided to stay there. When asked if Scholes' place was in danger in the lead up to Euro 2004, Sven just laughed and said: "Haha I don't think so. Paul has nothing to worry about." (that is not verbatum).

But Scholes was also a credit to himself, the spirit of Manchester United and to English football; never one to be splashed across the Sun's gossip pages, steering clear of high profile contract negotiations and only rarely giving interviews. A football player with traditional values who never grew so big as to crave media attention. Unlike virtually every other football player of his generation, I've watched him play for hours, but heard him speak for barely minutes.

Rather that wax lyrical for too long (many football pundits have done this far better than I could), I thought I would just share my favourtie Scholes moments (there were four more but I can't find the clips...)

England vs. Tunisia
I remember watching this in the library at school, because the match was during the school day. Scholes was a certainty from the start, whilst Beckham was started on the bench because of questions over his temprament.



England vs. Scotland 1999
On a couple of occasions, Scholes single handedly pulled England over the line. His hatrick against Poland also comes to mind, but his brace in the European Championship has to be one of his strongest England matches

Manchester United vs. Arsenal FA Cup semi-final 2004
I watched Scholes live a few times, but in this semi-final at Villa Park he was absolutely everywhere . I've never seen a player with such an engine. He was box to box and not suprising when he popped up in the penalty box to score the only goal of the game.

Manchester United vs. Barcelona 2008
Later in his career Scholes played deeper and scored far more rarely. However the ones he did score were both spectacular and vital. This winner in the semi-final against Barcelona sticks in the mind along with his winner last season in the Manchester derby in the depths of injury time. For the latter, I was in a pub in Manchester - the roof came off.

Manchester United vs. Manchester City 2010