Yesterday I nearly met Coldplay’s guitarist. His name is Jonny Buckland.
I was on my way to a Coldplay charity gig. I got on the jubilee line at Baker Street towards the O2 arena. I sat down and across the carriage from me I saw a man wearing a beanie and looking quite stylish. I thought that’s a coincidence, he looks EXACTLY like Jonny Buckland from Coldplay.
In fact his resemblance was so disconcerting that I couldn’t concentrate on my Guardian. Not even the story about David Cameron wielding his EU veto. Surely it was impossible for Jonny Buckland to be travelling to a Coldplay concert on the tube.
As time passed, I became more and more convinced. But it takes a more courageous man than me to say:
“Hey, how’s it going? Aren’t you Jonny Buckland from Coldplay?”
“Don’t be ridiculous mate. If I was in the world’s biggest band would I be travelling on the tube? I mean there are no guarantees the jubilee line would even get me there on time.”
So I just stared at him. And what’s more, everyone was so busy doing their own thing, they didn’t seem to notice him.
When we arrived at Greenwich, I had to be sure it was Jonny Buckland. I followed him out of the carriage. On the platform he gave his bearded friend a knowing look as if to say, ‘I’m going to get away with this’.
But I was on to him. He pulled his scarf over his face and made his way to the exit. I followed him up the first escalator. I followed him up the second escalator. I followed him along the walkway to the O2, where he loitered outside away from the crowds.
He made a phone call. Seconds later, someone came out to meet him. I followed them inside. He was promptly taken round the back through the VIP entrance. That was all the proof I needed. It was definitely Jonny Buckland. It was definitely Jonny Buckland that I had sat across from on the tube for 30 minutes. It was definitely Jonny Buckland that I followed off the tube, up the escalator and towards the O2. And it was definitely Jonny Buckland that I had failed to take my once in a life time chance to say hello too.
I don't know why famous people would get freaked out by their fans.
Nevermind. Coldplay were good. I like their new songs.
