Bank crisis number two

I have been done a wrong people. And as Max Clifford and the News of the World are not interested in my woes I am going to out the perpetrator on my blog followed by eleven people – that’ll teach them.

BARCLAYS BANK I deplore you.

I have been without a bank card for nearly six weeks now. Despite ordering a new one on three separate occasions a new card has not arrived despite assurances it was being sent to my address in London.

I have therefore had to withdraw huge sums over the counter and put Emad Nadim out of pocket on several occasions. I’ve even been caught short on a date, which doesn’t put across the rightful impression of me as a man of wealth and taste.

I thought we had an untrustworthy postman at first who I have been trying to catch in the morning. But it turns out I have an untrustworthy bank.

Today I found out, that due to some error in process, Barclays have been continually sending my card to an address I moved out of 8 years ago. Can you believe it? I have spoken to over ten people about this and only today has the real problem emerged. I was so angry.

As I finished my letter of complaint…

“Over the years you have been only been too quick to impose financial penalties for even the smallest of mistakes I have made as a customer. I only wish I could now impose a penalty on you for your mistakes.”

….just waiting for the public backlash now… Kick up a shit storm eleven followers!

Labour's defeat - A blessing in disguise?

I’ve always been jealous of people that got to hate Thatcher. I remember one of my university lecturers opening up his course with a rant about Thatcher reaching its crescendo with him saying he threw a party on the day of her demise. His main gripe with Thatcher was the poll tax, or as he referred to it, a tax on breathing. He didn’t pay in protest.

You see my whole student experience was ruined by a government for whom I had a decent level of affection.

Really I should have been spending my time wearing Che Guevara t-shirts, listening to Rage against the Machine and not paying unfair taxes, just like my lecturer (one year I didn’t pay the TV license, but that wasn’t based on principle so probably doesn’t count).

Instead I was content with New Labour and merrily went about my business funded by, what I considered, a very reasonable student loan agreement. Damn you compliant establishment

Well now is my chance to make up on lost establishment-hating time. And besides Labour being cast into opposition doesn’t have to mean 18 years of hurt as it once did for many a lucky Labour supporting student.

Touching distance
Although most people probably wouldn’t admit it, part of me was quite surprised and even pleased with Labour’s performance in the election. With 258 seats, Labour are still in touching distance of the Tories.

A year ago I was convinced that Labour was heading for a catastrophe to 1997 proportions. Considering the party tried to implode through various coup attempts and cock-ups, they did pretty well considering the length of time they have been in office.

In 1997 the Conservatives knew it would be ten years before they could even start dreaming of power again. The same can definitely not be said for the Labour party. Even Ed Balls kept his seat!

A coalition bound to fail
As has been pointed out numerous times in the media, the Lib Dems and Conservative party have been at opposite ends of the mainstream British political spectrum for years. With opposite views on Europe, electoral reform and defence I can’t see how the government can sustain itself effectively for five years.

An interesting story in the Guardian today talked about how the communications machine alone is now going to be twice the size with its job to ensure that with each government announcement two sets of people with quite different political beliefs are satisfied.

This also leaves the space for there to be one mainstream opposition party instead of two, giving the Labour party a monopoly on the 'alternative option'.

Re-alignment of the one remaining progressive party
David Miliband is already chucking around this ‘Next Labour’ idea. Fair enough it needs a bit or work, but that’s the spirit Dave, let’s take a new approach and replace some of those old tired faces. A successful political party is as much about how it makes people feel as it is about substance, so some new vibrancy will go a long way to regaining favour with the public.

Here are a few ideas I would like to throw into the pot (based on a trusty thesaurus)…

Newer Labour
Fresh Labour
Contemporary Labour
Brand new Labour
Spanking Labour
Pristine Labour
In mint condition Labour

And my favourite three:
Newborn Labour
Enlightened Labour
Avant-garde Labour

Ed, if you’re reading, then they’re yours.

People voted for change as they inevitably will after 13 years of the same tired faces. But the change they have chosen doesn’t have to last for long. Here is to Spanking Labour – ready to govern within two years.

Panic at the polling station

I am in turmoil. Which way do I vote? I know who I want to win, but I also know who I don’t want to win. This funny old election system means that my heart felt cross could well be wasted in my marginal constituency. I haven’t waited five years to waste my cross.

Listening to my head

I wrote essays at school about tactical voting, but never thought it really existed. Now, if I can square it with my conscience, I might actually vote tactically. The trouble is I don’t know who to trust.

The Daily Mirror has told me today that my constituency is a three-way marginal. A 1.08% swing will see it go to the Tories whilst a 1.37% swing for the Lib Dems will see them take it. I should therefore, according to their advice, vote Labour to withstand the onslaught.

But this is based on figures that are five years old. The Guardian on Saturday told me to vote tactically to stop the Tories and to do this I should vote Lib Dem to keep them out. Based on the polls, there has been a 10% decrease in the support for Labour nationally since 2005 which indicates not such a pretty picture for their 2010 chances in my constituency.

What is more the Lib Dem candidate in my area has put a note through the door (seemingly hand written but identical to the other five that came through the door) telling me it is between them and the Tories. In it he cites the recent council elections which saw Labour poll 10% of the popular vote. In case people like me are a bit slow on the uptake, he has written ‘they can’t win here’ next to the figure.

Following my heart

Voting tactically will mean going against my heart but at least I will be contributing to the outcome I want. But if I do vote tactically, say I have got it wrong and the difference between my preferred candidate winning and not winning is me? I’m not sure I could live with that. Maybe I should just follow Tony’s advice and vote for who I support. Turmoil.