The marathon diaries - training

I have just run two marathons in the space of two weeks. It wasn’t the plan. But it is what happened. And here I will tell that story…

In the beginning

It all started in my grandparents’ front room. I was minding my own business and eating some chocolate fingers my nan had bought me. Very nice they were too. And my mum was talking her usual nonsense, this time about doing the Brighton Marathon for her charity, Dementia UK.

My uncle, often keen to take on a challenge, said he would love to do it as well. Having just turned 50, he was looking for a new challenge.

I have no idea what possessed him, but he then said: “And I’m sure Andrew will want to do it too, he’s the youngest and fittest out of all of us.”

Well that was it. With my family’s gaze upon me I was signed up to the Brighton Marathon in a little over three months.

The training regime
I’ve always played sport, mostly football and golf and a bit of cycling more recently. But I have never been a runner. My maximum, before this whole ordeal, was about 20 minutes on a treadmill at the end of a very rare gym session. I can only recall going on one run before starting my training. And running a marathon was not something I had ever seriously considered.

I let Christmas get out of the way first, using it as a last opportunity to stuff my face guilt free. And then on a cold and quiet day I decided to venture out for my first run wearing my football kit and £18 trainers I bought in India about nine years ago. 

The route was just less than five miles. And despite pretending I needed to look at a map at a bus stop half way round to give myself a rest, I got there.

The next run didn’t go so well. I got a mile down the road and decided I really wasn’t ready for this and turned back.

But surprisingly, that didn’t deter me.  I managed to get into a routine. Nothing silly, just three runs a week sometimes substituted by a football match and sometimes in addition to one. I started off with five mile runs and stuck pretty closely to the training programme I had signed up to through a training plan website that is still sending me daily emails saying ‘how was your run today?’ (PISS OFF!)

By the time I went to America on holiday in February I was up to about ten miles. And America was a good boost because it was warm and I got to feel good about myself as I ran over the Golden Gate Bridge with the San Fran mums (even though that was a horrific experience – it looks far more serene in pictures).

Stepping up the committment

With six-eight weeks to go disaster struck. I got an injury. My regime was such that I didn’t have time to waste. But I couldn’t put proper weight on my right leg when I ran. I nursed myself to fitness by using a death trap contraption known as a ‘cross trainer’ in the gym.

But I decided this warranted a greater commitment to the cause. It was time to have my gait analysed and buy some trainers that actually fitted me. The man in the shop (obviously qualified medical practitioner) said he thought it was my Achilles that was giving me a problem. But some extortionately priced trainers should help, especially by supporting my over-pronating left leg. I paid the man without asking too many questions. 

The final preparations

With my new trainers and my leg feeling much better I embarked on my long runs in the build up to the marathon. After a disastrous day dodging shoppers on Chiswick High Street, I decided to do these along the canal.

First I did 14 miles, then 16, then 18 and finally 20. Although they were gruelling days that I would dread in the days leading up to them, I did the mileage with two weeks to go before the big day. I also have Keith Richards to thank. His audio autobiography got me through some dark dark times.

Speaking of dark times, it was on these long runs that I learnt the hard way about the need for a big tub of Vaseline. On the 16 miler it started hammering down with rain about eight miles away from home. By the time I finished, my sodden erect nipples were bleeding to the extent that they stained my white shirt. I had bought an industrial size pot of the lubricant by the time I went on my next run.

The English in Tallahassee

Tallahassee is the city of the motor car. Not in an unpleasant way, but more in a practical way.
It doesn’t have a particularly large population at 200,000. But with a limitless amount of space around that city, it has stretched its legs and spread over a huge area.

This means that daily amenities and shops have taken the liberty of having a bit of space. Why not?

The High Street is an alien concept in Tallahassee, so is the city centre. Instead each shop, restaurant and supermarket is an independent site with car park and a large florescent sign that hangs into the road making its existence unmistakable to passing drivers – Burger King, Best Buy, Publix. There are even drive-thru banks meaning there is seldom a need to leave your car.

The roads these shops and banks border aren’t busy as such. But they do have 3-4 lanes going in each direction. In the UK that equates to the biggest motorways in the country. But they don’t feel quite the same here. They have lower speed limits and are split by intermittent cross roads. (I don’t know what’s wrong with a roundabout)? Crossing six lanes to get to KFC isn’t for the faint hearted.

What this adds up to is that pedestrians are a rare sighting -rarer than some of the world’s rarest birds. I went for a 10 mile run yesterday and saw a maximum of seven people on the footpath. Admittedly this was heading out of town (passing a Burger King and McDonalds), but it wasn’t the countryside.

This doesn’t make Tallahassee unpleasant. The roads aren’t particularly busy. It’s green, the skies are blue and it’s quiet. But it does make it a little bit impractical. And the fluorescent lights give it a garish capitalist feel at times.

Eating in Tallahasse
Eating in Tallahasse is a joy. Especially, if like me, you like meat, huge portions and fast food.
We wanted to do the Super Bowl properly. So we tried to order some ribs from Piggy’s Rib Shack before the game. But by 5pm they had already sold out for the evening. So we headed to KFC instead to get some takeaway.

There are lots of questions when you go to KFC in America. Do you want light or dark meat? Do you want original recipe, grilled or extra crispy? What sides do you want?

Also, you don’t get any chips. Instead you get a biscuit. Or what I would call a scone. I have no idea what you’re meant to do with this scone, especially as they don’t give you any jam, clotted cream or tea. They do give you macaroni cheese as a side though, with a yellow Kraft cheese sauce. That’s right up my street.

Tallahassee compliments its food with a rich array of beverage, often served in a ‘thirst buster’ - a 1.5litre cup with straw. We were in the Mall the other day and I wanted a health boost. So I went to buy a smoothie. Just fruity goodness I thought. But when I watched the man behind the counter make it, I noticed a big scoop of white granules being poured into my cup. I racked my brains. But all I could come up with was that this was sugar. Surely not? I decided it was best not to ask, which was difficult as it was sweeter than any raspberries I’ve ever had.

Luckily Jenna has found herself a cooperative supermarket – New Leaf. They care about the community and the food they sell in there. It’s all organic or free range or something similar. But caring so much about the food means they are reluctant to let it go – it costs more than most of the meals that are sold in the florescent light establishments on the side of the road.

The Wildlife of Tallahassee
Tallahassee is located in the inland heart of Florida. This means that nature is on its doorstep.
Just 30 minutes outside of Tallahassee is Wakulla Springs. This Springs is home to some beautiful birds that would never venture as far as the UK and the water is home to alligators, turtles and manatee.

We had a boat tour from a larger than life character with a deep southern accent: “Yesss sir, that there is an alligatorrrr.” He was brilliant and so was the boat ride.

Two hours outside of Tallahassee and you reach the Gulf Coast. After driving through forests for a while you hit the coastal road which looks out over an endless sea horizon scattered with swooping pelicans. They’re my favorite.

We visited St Georges Island, 5-6 miles off the mainland. It has long sandy beaches and is pretty much empty apart from lavish beach houses.

But if you’re thinking you get there by ferry then think again. 5-6 miles over rough sea is no deterrent to building a bridge in America…

“Brad, I know we’ve got all of this space over here in Florida, but how are we going to get across to that small island so we can build on it? Shall we get a ferry over there?”

“No Cody. Don’t be silly. Let’s just fill the see with concrete and build the biggest flyover known to man.”

When comparing this to the UK we came up with the Solent that splits the Isle of Wight from the UK. A bridge across the Solent would be nothing short of savage.

Two worlds collide
The problem with all this nature and all of these roads is that sometimes they collide. And in the case of America this means a collision with a mechanical atrocity called an SUV. I think they have 8 wheels as standard.

Driving back to Tallahassee from the Gulf in the pitch black we suddenly noticed a big black lump on the road with dashes of red. It was a bear. A bear that had clearly just been hit by the car in front.

There was nothing we could do. We just careered over it. It was so big our car left the ground. But miraculously there was no (visible) damage. Sadly, we can’t say the same for the bear.

Can you imagine that? Running over a bear? This place is crazy.

Review of 2011

A lot of people on Facebook are raving about 2011. I want to be a bit more considered than that – as you will see below. I would describe it as a funny old year. It ended much better than it started with a magical Christmas. And hopefully it laid the groundwork for a better 2012 – finally getting somewhere at work, marathon in the pipeline, driving lessons in full flow and a luxury holiday to the States booked.

Anyway, in time honoured tradition, here are my resolutions for 2012 and my review for 2011.


Resolutions
1) Run a marathon
2) Pass my driving test
3) Get promoted
4) Break 76
5) Become a photographer
6) Go on an adventure
7) Blog and tweet
8) Learn to play 100 new songs on the guitar
9) Save money
10) Have a better work/life balance

You may notice some similarities to last year.

Review

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
- Raised £1000 for charity
- Cycled round the Isle of Wight
- Visited Norway
- Cycled round Normandy and Brittany
- Hiked Hadrian’s Wall
- Won on the Grand National
- Flew a kite on the beech
- Climbed Mount Snowdon


2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I made ten resolutions last year. I didn’t do that well. But maybe a little better than the year before. I have returned to football and put in some good performances. I wouldn’t say that I am amazingly fit. I haven’t been promoted which has been a constant source of frustration, but hopefully that will happen soon. And I have done some good stuff at work. I haven’t passed my driving test, but at least I am learning again. I did shoot 78 round Oakwood golf course. I have had guitar lessons and I am definitely getting better. I haven’t written a book. I have blogged a reasonable amount including about my cycle ride in France. I have been there for my family and feel better for it. I am sometimes on time.

New resolutions above. They are quite similar to last year’s.


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No


4. Did anyone close to you die?
No


5. What countries did you visit?
Last year I said I would never go back to the Netherlands because bad things happen there. I went back to the Netherlands. Bad things happened.

Apart from that, I visited Wales, France and Norway.


6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
- A more healthy lifestyle
- More contentment with where I am in my career
- I would love to say Sky Sports but I think that is one for 2013


7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don’t remember the date, but Stevie and Kate getting married was the most significant day of the year. It was brilliant to see two close friends so happy to be getting married. We celebrated with an adequate amount of drunken merriment. Jessica Rudkin put in an award winning performance.” Fuck them shoes!”


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
My bike ride to France. Going on my own, completely unprepared and with no plan was liberating. It was the best thing I did all year. I loved it. The charity bike rides were good too, as was the hike along Hadrian’s Wall.


9. What was your biggest failure?
I have been frustrated with my progress at work for a lot of the year, so I think that is my biggest failure. I also eat rubbish and need to look after myself better. I also need to be a better friend sometimes.


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No. And the knee feels much better.


11. What was the best thing you bought?
I haven’t bought very much at all this year. I would say the scalextric I bought my brother for Christmas. That is a great present if I do say so myself.


12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
- Emad Nadim’s general behaviour always warrants celebration
- Stevie and Kate for getting married
- My mum has been pretty remarkable this year


13.Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
There were a lot of morons in the Priory in St Neots the day. David Cameron gets on my nerves.


14.Where did most of your money go?
Rent and debt. Depressing.


15.What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Christmas. Stephen hosted. We saw all of our closest family in a matter of days. We made a nice video for Jenna. It was a transformation from last year. It was the best Christmas for many years.


16.What song will always remind you of 2010?
I’ve racked my brains and there isn’t one.


17.Compared to this time last year,
I. are you happier or sadder?
Happier

II. thinner or fatter?
About the same

III. richer or poorer?
Poorer


18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
- Played golf
- Eaten green things
- Saved my money
- Kept in touch with important people


19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
- Eaten pizza and chicken
- Felt less self conscious/unsure of what I am doing


20. Did you fall in love in 2010?
No


21. How many one-night stands?
None


22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No


23. What was the best book you read?
One Day. That hits you right between the eyes. Closely followed by Cloud Atlas.


24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Vaccines are cool. Wretch 32 and Example have a catchy song. I like Coldplay’s new album. Noely G never lets you down.


25. What did you want and get?
My Dad gave me all of his cameras which was nice.


26. What did you want and not get?
A digital clock radio that wakes you up by recreating sunlight. I’ve wanted one for a number of years now.


27. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Inbetweeners film. Or Arthur. Russell Brand was genius in that.


28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 28. It was a low key affair at ‘The Diner’ in Kensal Rise. Stevie and Kate bought me some nice gloves. I had a big chocolate milkshake and a burger. Perfect.


29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A long holiday
Promotion


30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Retro – as in I didn’t buy any clothes all year so there was a lot of recycling. I just bought some stuff in the sales. The theme has been cheque. I think that’s ‘in’. I could be wrong.


31. What kept you sane?
Emad Nadim. I couldn’t go on without him.


32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I’m rubbish at this. I rarely fancy famous people.


33. What political issue stirred you the most?
I think David Cameron’s decision to veto the European treaty was a little bit silly. I’m also stirred by the lack of leadership in the Labour party. I want them to get me angry this year and make me believe they are capable of taking on the Tories.


34. Who did you miss?
- The Pakistani family
- Family
- I’ve not seen Nick Howard this year. It would be good to see him at some point. Cheeky little bastard


35. Who was the best new person you met?
People at work… and some others…


36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
It’s easy to take the most important things for granted.

The day I nearly met Jonny Buckland from Coldplay

Yesterday I nearly met Coldplay’s guitarist. His name is Jonny Buckland.

I was on my way to a Coldplay charity gig. I got on the jubilee line at Baker Street towards the O2 arena. I sat down and across the carriage from me I saw a man wearing a beanie and looking quite stylish. I thought that’s a coincidence, he looks EXACTLY like Jonny Buckland from Coldplay.

In fact his resemblance was so disconcerting that I couldn’t concentrate on my Guardian. Not even the story about David Cameron wielding his EU veto. Surely it was impossible for Jonny Buckland to be travelling to a Coldplay concert on the tube.

As time passed, I became more and more convinced. But it takes a more courageous man than me to say:

“Hey, how’s it going? Aren’t you Jonny Buckland from Coldplay?”

“Don’t be ridiculous mate. If I was in the world’s biggest band would I be travelling on the tube? I mean there are no guarantees the jubilee line would even get me there on time.”

So I just stared at him. And what’s more, everyone was so busy doing their own thing, they didn’t seem to notice him.

When we arrived at Greenwich, I had to be sure it was Jonny Buckland. I followed him out of the carriage. On the platform he gave his bearded friend a knowing look as if to say, ‘I’m going to get away with this’.

But I was on to him. He pulled his scarf over his face and made his way to the exit. I followed him up the first escalator. I followed him up the second escalator. I followed him along the walkway to the O2, where he loitered outside away from the crowds.

He made a phone call. Seconds later, someone came out to meet him. I followed them inside. He was promptly taken round the back through the VIP entrance. That was all the proof I needed. It was definitely Jonny Buckland. It was definitely Jonny Buckland that I had sat across from on the tube for 30 minutes. It was definitely Jonny Buckland that I followed off the tube, up the escalator and towards the O2. And it was definitely Jonny Buckland that I had failed to take my once in a life time chance to say hello too.

I don't know why famous people would get freaked out by their fans.

Nevermind. Coldplay were good. I like their new songs.

Time to go Sepp

Reading the Guardian over a fish finger sandwich on my day off, I came across a story analysing the reaction to Sepp Blatter’s absurd suggestion that racist abuse in football should be settled with a ‘handshake’ and is all part of the game.

Sepp has been on borrowed time for a while now and has probably sealed his fate this time. But it's such a gaffe that he has also given politicians the world over fertile ground for a statement. You know you're in trouble when that happens…

Think of a subject to talk about that will connect with the average man….football

Think of a topic the majority of normal people will agree with…condemnation of someone who is accepting of racism

According to Owen Gibson's story in the Guardian:

“David Cameron last night backed Robertson’s call for Blatter to resign, describing Blatter’s claims that racism on the pitch is not a problem as “appalling”, adding that there was “no time for complacency” when it came to stamping it out.”

And

“Ed Miliband, the labour leader, said: “I think Sepp Blatter’s comments are a disgrace, frankly, and I think football needs new leadership. I don’t think he has shown in the remarks he has made recently, or indeed his record, that he can provide that leadership for world football.”

Time to get your coat Sepp.

A vision of better world part 2

Earlier this year, I said that a match.com advert was a vision for a better world - the one where two random people spring into song in an old antiques shop. Well, manipulative advertising has done it again - this John Lewis Christmas ad is possibly the purest thing I have ever seen:

This is the world I want to live in.

I thought that my satisfaction peaked at watching it. But then I sent it on Skype to a special friend on the other side of the world who was having a particularly bad day. Watching her smile gradually get bigger and a tear roll down her face as she watched it was the highlight of my day.

The resurrection of seminal Manchester pop group the Stone Roses

I love the Stone Roses. I have done ever since I started listening to their Greatest Hits on the bus on my way to work in an ice cream parlour in Vancouver. In fact I would go as far to say they are my favourite band (along with Oasis and the Beatles). And last week I came a step closer to fulfilling the dream of seeing them play live.

Music doesn’t excite me as much as it used to. It’s sad isn’t it? I think it’s part of getting older. You worry about money, your job, your girlfriend and your ever expanding waste line not helped by that gym you never go too.

I remember counting the days to seeing the Stereophonics at Donnigton Park. I remember creating a mix CD with the best tracks from my first V festival. And I remember my friends and me getting up at the crack of dawn to try and secure Oasis tickets the moment they were released.

Back then, gigs (I always call them concerts, but the sounds a bit Peter Gabriel now) would stay with me for weeks. I would remember the set-list. The words of the front men would go round my head for days. And I would try to learn the songs I heard on the guitar.

But it’s not like that any more. I rarely go to gigs. And even when I do, they don’t stay with me in the same way. The last time I saw Oasis is far less memorable than the first time, even though it was about 8 years later.

The reunion

So, the reunion of the Stone Roses has been refreshing. I first read the rumour in the Daily Mirror on about page 30. But couldn’t quite believe it. Even in the most recent interview I read with John Squire he said he had met Ian Brown for the first time at Mani’s mum’s funeral but was still retired from music and focusing on art. They had all ruled it out for years – “not in this lifetime”.

But by the Tuesday the rumour was too big. I couldn’t wait to see the press conference. What would they look like? What would the chemistry be like? Where has the drummer been all this time?

When I got home in the evening I watched it on YouTube. All 25 minutes of it. They didn’t give much away. But it was worth it for when Ian Brown said: “We’ll do it like last time. We’ll ride it until the wheels come off….and they did, didn’t they?” and when he asked the Daily Mail reporter if he voted Tory.

Getting a ticket was a no-brainer. The anticipation leading up to Friday was intense. I knew I was up against all of Manchester.

The day came. I sat at my desk pretending to work, but was really poised and ready for the tickets being released at 9:30am. As soon as the clock struck 9:29am, I frantically opened up all of the ticket selling websites and started pressing refresh as they literally broke under the demand.

You would have thought they would have figured that problem out by now. After 15 minutes of constant refreshing, my will was broken. They were sold out. Disaster. Disappointment. It was like Knebworth 1996, when I had to go on holiday in Italy instead of go to Oasis’s biggest ever gig.

But unlike Knebworth, this story has a happy ending. I had another look just after 10am. And another date had been added. Without thinking I bought two tickets and this time the website worked. When the confirmation came through on my phone 24 hours later, I gave it a goal scoring fist pump and “YES!”. Stone Roses. Heaton Park. Here I come.