One day...one day

I’m coming to the end of my days in Sheffield and after completely crippling myself financially my mind has turned to a time when I can sit down, look around and say: “Bloody hell Andrew, you have made it my son.”

And what will that fateful day look like? Well here is an indication...

1) I will have a white Mac book and I will regularly take it to a posh coffee shop, open it up and sit in front of it pretending I am doing something very important whilst drinking a latte.

2) I will stop having haircuts and instead have my hair styled.

3) I will have a gym membership. I will never use the gym, but I won’t bother cancelling the membership because at the end of the day what is £30 a month?

4) I will stop saying ‘a pint of your cheapest lager please barman’.

5) In the winter I will go skiing. I’m not talking about skiing in Bulgaria or on some cheap eastern European mountain. No I am going to a pretentious resort in France or Canada.

6) I will have a big plant, one that requires watering and adds ‘atmosphere’ and ‘vibe’ to my house. I might put it next to my rug (not wicker, as they bring back dark images).

7) I will have a digital radio. Did you know they have a little screen telling you what the song and artist is that is playing? Technology is amazing these days - that's much better than my manual thing with the tuning wheel that if you move quarter of a millimetre you get Grfrsakfdjgkjgldskgdlfksdljgdsslj.

8) I will download music LEGALLY.

9) I will have a subscription for the economist and buy a quality newspaper full price.

10) When I go shopping I will pick things off the shelf regardless of if they are on special offer. I
will also buy extravagances such as cherries and Ribena without a second thought.

11) I will take taxis back from a) the station and b) nightclubs and bars

12) I will own a framed vintage photograph or piece of art.

13) I will pay for the free bus.

14) I will be the person that suggests we split the bill equally between the table and eat and drink accordingly.

15) In my cutlery drawer I will have a peeler, a masher and an ice-cream scoop.

As you can see I am a man full of ambition.

Inspired by two friends who have made it - Aled Owens and Stevie Cameron, and one that never will – Harry Clapham.