A Day in the life of Andrew Webster

8am – Wake up to the sound of my alarm. Look at the mentor duty phone next to my head and think ‘phew, I’m so glad I was not phoned in the middle of the night to attend to a drunken student who had recently been dumped by boyfriend / passed out / slipped on the ice / insert common undergrad crisis.’ Press snooze.

8:08 – Press snooze

8:16 – Press snooze

8:24 – Press snooze

8:32 – Jump out of bed thinking I will be late meeting Nick (and getting to university)

8:33 – Receive text from Nick saying ‘c u at 12 lol’

8:50 – Leave house with 3 pieces of raspberry jam on toast in one hand and my phone in the other frantically calling people to find out where the lecture is.

9:07 – Walk into the lecture late. Thankfully it has not started.

10:00 – Go and stand on the Union concourse in the bitter cold and snow giving out chocolate love hearts to BOYS and girls in front of a stereo blasting out Phil Collins Love Songs. This was the latest marketing strategy of the University project I work for. Hopefully we didn’t put anyone off coming to our next event. Life doesn’t get much more degrading than this.

12:00 – Go to a lecture about the incredible advancements in multi-media technology that are shaping the media... the sound doesn’t work.

13:00 – Go to a workshop on using photoshop. Eat Sandwiches that have been kept safe in an old ice cream tub.

15:00 – Go back to work (university project) to write a powerpoint while university staff talk about the results of their personality tests in the background - I bet I can guess the answers.

17:00 – Buy the Guardian, full of news that is now out of date. Think about how good a pint of real ale would taste.

17:30 – Arrive home, check facebook and start writing pointless blog.

18:00 – Go to a mentor team meeting. Stand outside for 20 minutes before going inside. Then listen to a lot of people talk about how they are trying to ruin students’ fun by telling them to stop making noise and throwing snow (still the students persist).

19:00 – Cook dinner - it’s chicken thighs for the third day in a row. I had to buy in bulk to meet my stringent budgetary requirements. It a beautiful dinner well complimented by cheesy mash and beans. Sadly its completely undermined by Masterchef playing in the background.

20:00 – Leave for the pub. It’s Chris’ surprise birthday party which I am late for. Have 3 pints and some good chat about the general state of things. Buy Chris a pint and help eat his birthday cake.

00:00 – Leave the pub with Nick, Ciara and Mike. Resist the temptation to flutter money away on a donner kebab despite how good it smells.

00:40 – Watch the Mighty Boosch. Realise I have been wearing my underwear the wrong way round all day.

01:00 – Turn the Mighty Boosch off. Update my brown book with ‘Beer £7.25’ and throw away the Guardian I never read.

01:01 – Turn on Radio 5 live and go to sleep!